The distraction machine: why most leaders wait for the event that breaks them open
Yes, a leader can choose to face this before a crisis forces it. Almost none do. The reason is not that the awareness is missing; it is usually already there, humming under the surface. The reason is that most leaders have spent a career building distractions designed to keep that exact moment of honesty at bay, and when it surfaces, they reach for one more distraction rather than turn and face it.
So this is the answer to the hardest version of the question: can a leader choose vulnerability now, before a diagnosis or a loss forces it on them. The capacity is there. The habit is against it.
The awareness is already there
Many of the leaders I have met quietly sense it: the gap between the public self and the private one, the feeling of being less whole, and less happy, than the image suggests. It is not hidden from them. They simply work very hard to keep it from surfacing.
The distraction machine
The way they keep it down is distraction. The next car, the bigger house, the holiday, the party, the next acquisition, a calendar packed so full there is no quiet left in it, and sometimes the drink. All of it spends real energy on a single job: making sure they never reach the moment when the engine is off, the house is silent, everyone is asleep, and there is no one left to perform for. Because in that moment they are left with themselves, and that is the company they have spent the most to avoid.
Why it runs their decisions
The same avoidance sits inside their decisions. To take a risk is to risk being seen, so they choose the safe option, follow the room, and keep their hand down in the meeting. They will spend a fortune to be seen by colleagues and the public, and almost nothing on being seen for who they actually are. The boldness a company needs from the top is the very thing the fear of exposure quietly removes.
What it actually costs
What they are hiding is rarely as terrible as they fear. More often it is simply emptiness, and a loneliness they would never admit to. But the cost of hiding it is real, and it lands in the decisions they avoid, the people they keep at arm’s length, and the chances they decline so that no one looks too closely.
Can they choose it first?
So, can a leader reach this honesty before a life event forces it? Yes. Anyone can. But choosing it means doing the one thing the whole machine was built to prevent: stopping, rather than adding another layer. Not buying the next thing, not filling the next hour, not pouring the next drink, but sitting in the quiet and letting themselves be seen, starting with by themselves. That is simple to say and very hard to do, which is exactly why most people wait for the event that takes the choice out of their hands.
Why this is the root of AI strategy
This is not a detour from AI. A leader still running the distraction machine asks AI and their people the safe, self-protecting questions, the ones that keep them unseen, which is the surest way to point the technology at the old data and get the old answers back. A leader who has stopped running can ask the real ones, and that is the reckoning that has to come before any strategy. It is also what tells you who is actually fit to lead the work: the person who does not need to be the most seen in the room, only the most honest.
If you sense all of this and would rather choose it than wait for the event that forces it, that is the work I do with a limited number of senior leaders each quarter. Work with Thomas
Questions this article answers
Can a leader become self-aware before a crisis forces it? Yes, but very few do. The awareness is usually already present; what is missing is the willingness to stop and face it. Choosing it means ending the distraction rather than adding another layer to it.
Why do many leaders avoid facing themselves? Because being seen as they truly are is the thing they fear most. They manage the gap between the public image and the private reality with distraction and busyness, spending heavily to be seen by others and almost nothing on being known for who they are.
How does this avoidance show up in business decisions? As the safe yes or no. Taking a risk means risking exposure, so the leader follows the room and keeps their hand down. The boldness an organisation needs from the top is quietly removed by the fear of being seen.
What does it actually take to choose this before a crisis? Deciding to stop running. Not the next purchase, the next full calendar or the next distraction, but sitting in the quiet and allowing themselves to be seen, beginning with by themselves. It is simple to describe and genuinely hard to do.
What does a leader’s self-awareness have to do with AI? A leader avoiding themselves asks AI and their people the safe, self-protecting questions, which mostly produces a polished version of the past. A leader who has faced themselves can ask the real questions, which is the only place AI produces something genuinely new.
Thomas Anglero is a Strategic AI Advisor (MerkabaPhi AS, Oslo), with 450+ keynotes across 30+ countries. Enquiries: anglero.com.
Listen to the Clarity at the Top podcast on Spotify.